Bewildered Curse
by ZiZiLuPone
Summary: Nellie works too hard for Sweeney with no repay at all. She's fed up with it, but there is nothing she can do about it. Thereby she keeps her mouth shut, and do what she has to do...will he ever notice what she's doing ! Will he ever notice, she does it for him ! And...will he ever show to her, his affection for it ? Based on Patti's Lovett concert version, and Sweeney M. Cerveris


_A.N.: Darlings ! Firstly I'm sooooo happy to hear from you, you liked my Penny Dreadful one-shot. So here we go with another. I was planning those already for some time, and since I'm finally free from learning for this weekend, and I hope I'll be even next week, I'm trying to fix what I've neglected. So here we go with Sweeney and Nellie. AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I beg you, to speak up in reviews ! I'm happy to hear from you, it really makes my day, and it forces me to move my ass to write forward, really ! SO please review, and also check my second prof. on Fiction Press, where I moved with Johnny and Patti already ;-)._

 _Alright, yet few words to this fic, I little bit adjusted by myself the lyrics from Deliver us - from The Prince of Egypt. I felt slight connection, in the thinking...maybe I'm lunatic, but I hope you'll understand, and you'll like it ;-) if not...ignore, and enjoy the rest of the fic :333 alright sweet dolls, ZiZi hugs and ZiZi kisses xoxo_

* * *

 _Blood !_

 _Flour !_

 _Water !_

 _Barber !_

 _Faster !_

 _Blood ! And squish !_

 _Flour ! And knead !_

 _Water ! And mold it !_

 _Barber !_

 _Faster !_

 _Feel the sting of the razor on my throat_

 _With the sweat and the blood on my pride_

 _Jesus Christ, God on high, can you hear your servant cry ?_

 _Help me now !_

 _This dark hour…_

 _Bewildered curse !_

 _Here I call, I'm treasonous !_

 _Lord of all, I'm treasonous here in this burning hell !_

 _Bewildered curse ! There's a man, a demon who_

 _Is using me, for his purpose…_

* * *

Nellie washed her hands from blood, in quite messy water in the bake house. Wiping her hand into her apron, which once used to be _white_ , but now looked more like very used, and neglected piece of rag, just like Nellie felt herself, last past weeks.

Sighing out her sorrow deep from her heart, before walking out of bake house, closing doors behind her, and making her way up in her pie shop.

It was past midnight, and Toby was probably sleeping long, on his place in warm parlor, while she had to finish the rest of _fresh corpse_ , and then quickly prepare sweet pies and let them bake for next day's breakfast.

It was exhausting work, all day rushing across her shop, and making new pies. At least she had a helping hand during day, from young lad. But during night, she had to work in secret, and was all alone, on several weighty dead bodies, to peel the skin off it, cut out all guts, and the rest of revolting things, just to cover Sweeney's mess.

Yes, she brought up such idea. But she did it just for Sweeney, to cover him, and to at least ingratiate him.

And yes, she had income of it. Lots of clients and plenty of money…but does that compensate to her the attention she so wanted from Sweeney ? Not !

She's working for him like a slave. She loved him as Benjamin. She cried for him, after his transport. She tried to look over Lucy, even though failingly. Then she tried to save Johanna. Even there she failed. At least she waited for him all those fifteen years, believing he will return. Helping him stand back on his feet. Plotting vengeance. Covering him from Judge and Beadle. Scrubbing her skin nearly off while cleaning up all his mess every night. Exhausting herself till she fell headfirst in bed, and woke only in next morning. Doing for him everything what was in her power.

And what she gets ? Kind word ? Slight smile ? Or a caress ?

She could only dream !

She gets back only threats with his precious friends. She can only be scared for her own life. For Toby's life. And who would cover him then ? No one !

That is why she keeps her mouth shut, as much as she can. When he sends her another corpse, she works it without complains. When he talks about bloody old Judge, she listens. When he decides to take her, due his manly instincts still works, she obeys. That is the only time, she at least a little bit wonder, he cares for her.

Those blissful moments in his arms, when he whispers her name against her neck, and she cries for him from sensation. Only then she feels at least some of his warmth. Even when he's holding razor by her neck, or tries to silence her. Even when he's often rough, or coarse in his clumsy ministrations with woman after quite long time. Even when he's cold, and not letting emotion on surface.

And still she loves him.

But those moments, are happening so quickly, and there is so little of them, she's desperate.

That's why she calls it for herself _'bewildered curse'_. It was curse to work for him in such ways, and not receive _anything_ in repay. And bewildered, because he always get what _he_ wanted from her, because she blindly loved him. It was her bewildered curse, to do, what was expected from her.

For example working late.

She stepped to her counter, took a bowl, and from her prepared ingredients she put two cups of flour in the bowl, adding teaspoon of salt, three spoons of sugar, half cup of butter, and five tablespoons of cold water.

Wanting to start mixing it, when her spine ached.

 _Again._

,,Oh Lord !'' she moaned, grabbing at her sore back, she had to sat down for a moment. Sighing, as her eyes descended on the bowl. She supported her head with her palm on her temple, as her elbow dug against the counter.

If she only had some pleasure, in this damn world. Just one, sweet kind word from Sweeney, and maybe she could feel a bit better. Maybe if he ever helped her, while she was doing this all for him, she would feel less pain. In her spine. _And in her heart_.

….shaking that thought from her mind, she stood up slowly, with another loud sigh, stepping to her bowl of prepared ingredients.

Mixing the dough I bowl with her hands, she was deep in her thoughts, already somewhere in her bed, she completely didn't notice long gracious steps, which were approaching from above her pie shop.

No wonder she gave a lurch when doors cracked open.

Hand on her chest when she yelped ,,Oh, Mista T, you frighten' me ! Wot yer doin' here ?''

She looked at him, while working the dough, which was ready, so she could already put it on the desk, to work it more properly.

To her surprise he _smiled_.

,,I just couldn't fall asleep, pet, that is all…are you working late again ?'' he approached to her from behind, looking over her shoulder.

 _Sure, I'm always doin' late !_

She smiled politely, nodding ,,Yes, dear. There is one plate of meat pies, and here the dough for sweet pies, so we shall have breakfast tomorrow.'' She pointed at the plate on the other counter, closer to the bake house, and then on the dough she was working.

He smiled more, as he nodded, leaning to her ear and whispering ,,I made you tough night again, killing those two tall men…''

 _I know ! That's why I had ta wash the blood of my hands…over and over again !_

But she was quite surprised, of his words.

,,I'm sure you made short process with them ?''

,,As always, love,'' she nodded politely, paying attention to her dough. Splitting it in two lumps, to knead each separately, thoroughly, before putting them together, and after moment repeating this cycle.

Sweeney leaned closer with his smile, and his hands descended on her hips, she gave another lurch.

 _If he's goin' ta take me like last time, my spine will crack completely, and tomorrow we'll have no breakfast._ She groaned in her mind for herself.

But to her surprise, he leaned to her ear, and supported his chin against her shoulder, breathing ,,I was wondering, how you can do all of that hard work.''

Nellie slightly suspicious, turned her head to him and her lips twice parted, before she was able to form her words ,,…I always can, it's _my work_.'' Before turning back to her dough, but being very careful on Sweeney behind her.

But he only gently nosed to her neck, making her body tremble slightly. Watching her thoroughly working the dough, he after moment narrowed, and pulled out his razor.

 _I wondered where his 'precious' friend was…_ she scoffed in her mind.

But when he start slowly meddling with it behind her, and she heard soft, but no less audible swish, and then felt her corset slowly loosening, her eyes widened.

,,Wot' yer doin' ?'' she turned her head, when Sweeney gently kissed her cheek.

,,Nothing to fret my dear, look at your work,'' he whispered to her ear hotly again, cutting slowly the rest of her laces, one after one, while she kneaded dough in her both hands.

Finishing her laces, he leaned to her again, holding her sides, his razor slightly cutting to her hip through thick fabric of her dress, so it wasn't much painful, but she was freaking out of what may come.

After few moments of watching her, Sweeney whispered again ,,I always admired, how you do that…''

,,Do wot dear ?'' she swallowed slowly, when he pointed with his razor on her hands, kneading the dough.

,,How you're mistress of your work. I don't have such gentle hands, but I still always wanted to try it….'' Sweeney admitted, holding her hips again, waiting for her reaction.

,,Well, if ya want ?'' she turned her head to him carefully, finding his wide smile.

,,Shall I ? Really ?'' he looked at her, now seeming like a young lad, who was begging her to try a new thing.

,,Su-sure,'' she nodded vaguely, but why not, since he _asked her to_.

Then she heard suddenly an iron cling, twitching again with her entire body, Sweeney immediately petting her sides to sooth her from her shock. Only then she realized. It was his razor. He threw it away ?

Turning her head, and really, there was his _precious friend_ three feet away from her on the floor.

,,I wanted to have completely free hands,'' Sweeney explained, after seeing her shocked expression, while he was still smiling.

Nellie nodded bewildered, she split the dough in two again, and stepping aside, to make room for him, so he could try by himself with one lump, while she would work the other one, as the dough was still yet pliable, sticky, and needed more work. Taking handful of flour, and powdered both lumps. But he gently grabbed her sides again, drawing her back in front of him.

She completely not understanding until she felt his hot breath on her nape, and his hands pulling apart her corset, which fell to floor, since laces were completely torn. And subsequently unbuttoning deftly in few seconds her dress and pulling it apart, to reveal her light white petticoat, rolling it slightly up, so he could reach below. Stroking her warm smooth skin from her back to her stomach, and up, until his both hands landed on each her ample breast.

,,Oh,'' she let out understanding moan, followed with brief nod.

He pressed his chest to her back, making support for her, her lids fluttered when she felt his hands gently on her breasts.

He leaned to her neck, pressing hot kiss on her pulse point, and whispering ,,How do you make _the dough_ Nellie ? And do not miss a single point…''

She breathed in near disbelief, but he still was there and still was caressing her so nicely. This was all she dreamed about. For once, not pleasuring himself only. For once he wasn't selfish, and was caressing her !

Nodding and, showing to him, her moves of her hands, but once she started to knead the dough, Sweeney immediately copying her moves with his own hands on her breasts.

,,Oh-umm…'' she swallowed, nodding again, and slowly started ,,Ya have ta… _knead gently_ , to work the ingredients _all together_ ….ta make the dough _smooth_ and…. _soft_ …for-for…. _following forming_ …''

Her eyes were closing and opening, as she tried during her talk, to not lose her senses, as she was kneading dough, and caressing it, just like Sweeney was doing the very same to her breasts.

,,Make it nice and soft,'' he repeated to her ear, she nodded, swallowing, as he moved his hands against her breasts in such teasing ways, her rosy nipples start hardening.

,,Then again….ya shall work it thoroughly,'' she squeezed slightly more both lumps underneath her palms, and Sweeney squeezed the same her both breasts, making her whimper lowly, he grinned against her neck. ,,Pay attention to it. And also…flour,'' she swallowed thickly, hardly reaching for bowl of flour, to powder both lumps again ,,-to not have it sticky.''

Sweeney nodded, supporting his chin against her shoulder, still parroting her moves, before he breathed to her ear again ,,I'd like to taste it…shall I ? Or is that forbidden ?''

Nellie's eyes fluttered, before she nodded, getting a grip ,,Su-sure, you shall taste it. E'ry proper baker shall taste his work during the process. What if he added less sugar, than he should. Or too much sugar….''

,,I'd like to taste it,'' Sweeney let his plea echo in her ear.

Nellie nodded as she understood, he doesn't want to move his hands from her breasts, neither she wanted him to. She took with her thumb and index finger, literally _pinched_ the dough to take a little of it to let her barber taste it.

But once she done that, and as Sweeney expected her to do that, he _pinched_ the very same on her right nipple, she immediately squeaked in surprise and pleasure.

With trembling hand she brought her fingers to Sweeney's mouth, letting him taste the raw dough, she felt his tongue licking her fingers clear, before he pressed a soft kiss on her fingertips.

,,Mmm-delicious Nellie, pet…alright, we can continue,'' Sweeney nuzzled to her neck again, as she reached back to her dough, only circling her palm on both lumps.

When she squeezed twice again, she licked her lips as her eyes closed for a brief moment, after Sweeney repeated her knead on her breasts, she reached for flour, with both her hands.

,,I need to powder it properly,'' she uttered, before doing as she said, and only caressing both lumps with her palms.

Sweeney caressed her breasts, before nosing to her neck once more, he uttered ,,Nellie, can I do _this_ with the dough ?'' And he tweaked now both her nipples, feeling how her knees trembled, nearly giving out, and hearing her audible whimpers.

She shook with her head afterwards, only hardly keeping herself upward, her voice nothing more than a whisper ,,N-not at all….bu-but-'' her fingers now copied his tweaking, when he continued, she performing it on dough with closed eyes, her fingers pinching small amount of dough between ner fingers .

,,But ?'' Sweeney eagerly asked, smelling her hair, and closing his eyes in his own sensation, caressing her breasts gently once again, as she eased slightly.

She couldn't stand it.

Opening her eyes and pushing both lumps to one side of the counter harshly, she turned around, forcing his hands to leave her breasts, before she cupped his cheeks with her floured hands, and brought him down to kiss her, and he eagerly did, grabbing at her waist and with ease lifting her up to sit on her counter.

,,But you can do it to me,'' she muttered to his mouth, too busy to kiss him back, as he was glazing his tongue in time with hers.

Moaning to his mouth, when he stepped between her legs, and drew her lower body closer to meet his lap.

Her floured hands hanging behind his neck, not touching him, as he kept kissing her, his hands moving from her hips to her shoulders, letting the loosened fabric of her dress fall down with the little of his help. Down her arms, he forced her to put her hands down, so he could pull her sleeves completely off her arms, never breaking their kiss. Rolling her dress as much down to her waist as he could, before pulling away her light petticoat, rolling it over her head, making her stop kissing him for a moment.

Once her petticoat fell to floor behind him, and he briefly admired her naked upper body, he scooted closer and crushed his lips on hers once again.

Spreading hot, gentle kisses from her lips, down her pulse point, making her moan across her pie shop. She all so suddenly forgot herself completely, she forgot on the dough and the breakfast, she forgot on her back pain. She simply forgot when she was in Sweeney's arms.

,,Tell me,'' Sweeney breathed against her skin, when it tongue glazed her collarbone, she whimpered aloud, her still floured hands gently holding the back of his head, as he was lowering. ,,Tell me what you want Nellie, and do not omit a single wish….please.''

This was a miracle.

Biting her bottom lip, her head lolled back, when he kissed to her breast, and swirled his tongue ever so slowly, and gently sucked on her rosy nipple.

Moaning, her fingers on his head twitched when he did that, he grinned.

,,Do you want _this_ ?'' he flicked his tongue around her rosy bud.

,,Mhmm,'' she nodded with parted lips and still closed eyes, letting him to kiss all over her breast, and to continue to her other one. When he nipped her other nipple, she whined, her thighs immediately squeezing his hips.

,,Oh _this_ is, what you want ?'' he chuckled against her skin, brushing his lips lower her belly, as far as her skin was exposed for him.

She cupped his cheeks again, bringing him up, to look in his dark eyes, other time so dangerous and full of unpredictable, but not this time. Now she could see sparkle of emotion, and desire, but kind of desire, she probably yet haven't seen by him. _Desire to please her._

Kissing him gently on his lips, she drew back, looking in his eyes, and forcing out, what she had on mind all that time ,, _You_. I want _only_ you. I _always_ wanted _only you_ …''

Smiling at her words, he kissed her on her lips as gently as she kissed him before a while. Looking at her, and nodding gently, before he nuzzled his nose with hers, in response to her gentle grip on his cheeks.

,,Then _I'm yours_ , Nellie, love,'' he kissed her again, slowly forcing her on her back. They both didn't cared, that they were in her pie shop, in the middle of the night, on her counter, all powdered from flour. Her cherry red, beautiful bun, now milky white, covered from flour too. But she didn't cared.

He called himself _hers_ , and called her _love_. _Nellie, love._

Whimpering to his mouth, feeling his hands caressing her breasts, as he learned already, before stroking down her middle. Her skin hot, and soft for his touch. He loved how her body arched to his touch, and goosebumps appeared on his sides, and up on her shoulders, when he kissed along her neckline, and down to the crook of her neck.

Her hands thrown behind him, clutching at his back, to force him closer. His hands descended on the hem of her skirts, he gently pulled them up, smoothing his both hands along her stockings, teasing her, making her whimper aloud, before he stifled the rest of it with his kiss.

Reaching far below her skirts, she lifted her bottom, to help him take her undergarments down. He rolled the white fabric over her knees and pushed them down, her undergarments graciously slid down her toes, even down her high heels, ending up on the floor.

She breathed dreamily, with half closed eyes, when Sweeney teased her gently with his fingers, by light circles with the pad of his finger around her clitoris. Her nails dug into his muscular shoulders, when he pressed kiss in the middle of her lightly heaving chest, before he kissed her, to swallow her moan, when he invaded her silken heat with one finger, only caressing her, pulling out again.

She whined as he broke the kiss, and narrowed himself just to reach for his belt, to release himself out of his trousers. She was waiting, until he leaned above her again, and gently pressed himself to her, his left hand gently grabbed her right hand, pinning it next to her head, and their fingers tangled.

Leaning down he kissed her lovingly, she moaned to his mouth, with her emotion, since he melted her from inside out. But when he suddenly invaded her, she gasped, leaving his mouth, and arching beneath his weigh. Sweeney not giving up, took her lower in between his teeth, and gently nibbled, before sucking on her tender lip, making her cry out even louder, when he start moving slowly within her.

She couldn't resist, but letting out only moans, whines, and whimpers, with every his following thrust inside her. And again, and again. He was so gentle, he was breathing to her neck, with his loving kisses, to her ear with his sweet 'Nellie, love', to her chest, when he licked over her sweet hardened buds.

His fingers caressing hers in his grip. It was powerful connection, she always wished for, and he was giving the pleasure to her, not himself only.

Big cloud of flour formed around their harshly moving bodies.

With each her climax, she arched to his chest, and he eased to lower her down fluently, before escalating the pace again, to bring her to that edge over and over and over and over again.

Her chest was rapidly heaving, and she only barely could kiss him back when he descended on her mouth, she was amazed, how much he could take, before she nearly screamed, and her thighs trembled around him. She felt her lung overworked, from harsh breathing. Sweeney quickly captured her lips in another loving kiss, growling to her mouth with delight, and squeezing slightly more her fingers with his, as he came, deep inside her feverish heat, feeling himself overworked too.

Breathing to her mouth rapidly, when he stopped moving, and her knees slid off his hips ,,I love you Nellie, I do…I always, loved you…''

She grinned, at what he said, gasping for air, as she licked her lips, when he rested with his body softly against hers. Both tired, literally _exhausted._

Nellie's head suddenly fell from her hand, as she was supporting her head, with her hand against the counter.

She swiftly narrowed, looking around. She could see only dim light of her pie shop, and when she looked all around her she was alone. Her eyes descended on her bowl of prepared ingredient for sweet dough, and she realized.

She fell asleep. It was a dream.

Of course it was dream, because it was all too good to be true !

,,Wot did ya think, ya silly littl' nit ! Ya stupid ! That could never happen ! Why ? Because you are you, and him is him ! That will never change, only in yer silly dreams !'' she start scolding herself in silent voice, sighing at her misfortune. She was so tired, and also disappointed, she wanted to go to bed, and sleep, but she had to do the dough.

Unwillingly standing up, she felt the sudden wetness between her thighs, she smiled for herself, at her arousal from simple dreaming. Well…if she's quick, she might get in bed, before she completely forgets the dream, and she might have the chance to dream it to the very end.

Smiling in her mind, she stepped to the bowl of ingredients and start working them together, thinking of her _'silly'_ dream, and about Sweeney, she overheard the doors cracking, she only realized intrude when doors closed.

Giving a lurch, she turned her entire body ,,Lord ! Mista T ! Ya want ta give me a heart attack ?!''

,,My sincerest apologies Mrs. Lovett,'' he smiled at her kindly, putting his hands behind his back.

,,Wot yer doin' here ?'' she asked carefully, turning to her dough, and working it in the bowl yet.

Sweeney sighed, seeming almost desperate, when he said very clearly _,,I just couldn't fall asleep, pet, that is all…are you working late again ?''_

Her eyes went wide, as she slowly narrowed and in her mind tick only single thought.

 _Did I really dreamed it, or did I summoned it ?_

She lowered her eyebrows from shock, before she turned to Sweeney who waited for her answer, but he already approached straight behind her, and was looking over her shoulder.

 _Well, anyway, if this is reality, I don't want to miss single moment of it…_

 _S_ he thought for herself before she smiled politely at him, nodding _,,Yes, dear. Yes I am workin' late…''_


End file.
